Random Notes

There was much harvesting of fruit today in Animal Crossing, and also a lot of planting to increase my profits. I have a few orchards scattered around town. They put out a fresh batch of fruit every three days, so my general rule is to pick and sell most of it, but to also use a few to grow additional trees. It would take an ungodly amount of time to harvest them, but you could easily make at least 250k-300k each harvest. Tom Nook is a harsh taskmaster.

Mostly I fiddled around with the pattern designer, making shirts and signs from some patterns I found online. I made a gold uniform from Star Trek: The Next Generation. I also made one of the grey uniforms from the latter seasons of Deep Space Nine, although that one will require a little more tweaking.

Gattsu mailed me an Arwing.


How geeky! A spaceship, a Starfleet uniform, and a poster of S.O.P.H.I.A. from Blaster Master.

Mom

Andy, Laura, Emma and Joey open Christmas gifts at my sister's new house.

and I learned a very important lesson this year. It's one I sorta knew, but really had drilled into my head: don't wait until Christmas Eve to wrap presents. That goes double if you have a lot of stuff to wrap. I was in total schmuck mode and didn't wrap gifts at my apartment, so I ended up carting them to Mom and Dad's to wrap there. I didn't have too many to worry about, but then Mom brought out a ton of toys, clothes and assorted goodies that had to be wrapped.

It wouldn't have been too bad, but we didn't start wrapping until 9 p.m. and quickly grew tired of it. We wrapped all the highlight gifts and left quite a few untouched.

"We can wrap those later and give them to the kids on Saturday," Mom pointed out.

The fun part for me came a few hours later, when I had to set up the new television Dad bought Mom for Christmas. It's a Polaroid model like mine, but with a built-in DVD player and a few extra inputs. Mom sleeps like the dead, but I still can't believe I managed to cart it in from the van and set it up without waking anyone. She was surprised to see it when she finally slouched into the living room.

We went over to April's house after that, and the roads were deserted. It takes about 20 minutes to get there from Mom and Dad's, and we passed three cars the entire time.

Needless to say, it was a mass orgy of Christmas consumerism. I remember being on the receiving end of that kind of all-encompassing gift explosion when we were younger, but now it seems almost unseemly. Gods help me, I think I've finally developed a more adult attitude about treasuring quality over quantity. IT BURNS!

Laura, Andy, Emma and Joey had plenty to unwrap. Dolls, trucks, coloring sets, books... wow. April also bought Andy his very own rocking "gamer chair," complete with inputs for stereo sound.

Of

Emma unwraps more stuff.

course the big gift this year was the Nintendo Wii. The kids had already opened a Wii game or two, but April lied and told them it was for them to play on my machine. She saved the actual console for last and created a treasure hunt for the kids, hiding clue scrolls in their stockings. The first clue led them to an ornament on the Christmas tree, then to the bathroom cabinet to look under the washclothes, and eventually to a clue hidden in my pocket. It was then my job to retrieve the Wii from its hiding place.

The console and assorted games and controllers were split into four wrapped packages, so each of the kids had one to unwrap simultaneously. When Laura spotted the Wii, she screamed like she'd won the lottery. A recurring theme of the day was reminding Andy that the Wii belonged to all of them and not just him.

I set it up for them and helped them create their Mii avatars. The machine came with Wii Sports, and April had bought Wii Play for the extra mini-games and extra controller, plus Endless Ocean and Bee Movie. My collective gift was Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga.

There was a detour back to Parkersburg so I could work Friday, but then it was straight back to Boone County and more gift wrapping for the extra stuff. I was in the "It's after Christmas, so why wrap it?" camp, but helped Mom with it anyway.

April took me and the kids to see The Tale of Despereaux on Saturday. It was a pretty good flick. We stopped at her house to pick up their Wii on the way to Mom and Dad's, since Verizon is having a hard time getting April's DSL service working. I bought a few Virtual Console games for the kids -- Mario Kart 64, Super Mario Bros. 2, and The Legend of Zelda -- and let them start their own town in Animal Crossing: City Folk.

All

Joey loves trains in general and Thomas the Tank Engine in particular.

told, it was a good Christmas. I got April a new toaster for her house, and bought Dad a copy of The Bucket List with a Shoney's gift card taped to the front. For Mom, I bought the first season of Little House on the Prairie... a gamble I wasn't sure about, but she was pretty happy about it. Whew.

I also set up my Playstation 3 and popped in some Blu-Ray discs to show what their new television could do. They were floored by Ratatouille and The Incredible Hulk.

I received some decent goodies myself this year. My friend Kristofer gave me the second and third seasons of The Simpsons. Mom and Dad bought me a collection of Abbott and Costello shows and some jigsaw puzzles, plus the final two seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD. April gave me the most geektastic shirt, a black one with an 8-bit rendering of the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz, with the broken image symbol from Internet Explorer where his heart should be. Aunt Freda provided me with some warm socks, and Linda sent a box of chocolates. There was also a four-picture frame with the kids holding up signs spelling out "We... Love... Uncle... Bubba."

Speaking of Abbott and Costello, Dad said he'd never watched one of their movies, which was a deficiency I was honor-bound to correct. We watched one of the episodes where they did their famous "Who's on First" routine, and followed up by watching Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. That's easily one of my favorites, since I also love those old Universal monster movies.

Another highlight was making chili using meat from a bear shot by uncles Tom and James awhile back. It wasn't bad, actually. I couldn't tell much of a difference from ground beef, but if nothing else it makes for a fun anecdote when I want to gross out people who can't conceive of eating woodland creatures.

Sweet. After years of waiting, Exosquad is finally coming to DVD. I love that cartoon. When I was in college, I'd regularly wake up at 5 a.m. so I could watch the reruns... with the sound turned down so I didn't wake my roommate Jack. I can finally retire my scratchy VHS tapes.

I didn't play much today, but it was worth it because I finally got an invitation to Redd's shop. Peggy is going to mail it to me. Hopefully I'll be able to start buying paintings and stuff tomorrow. Kristofer got a Hamster Cage and ordered one for me.

And now, some random pics:

Listening to the radio in my house.

Visiting Gattsu's house in Granger.

Watching the aurora in the night sky.

I'm missing two packages from Amazon reportedly delivered on Monday. I didn't realize they were missing until I checked the tracker to find out where they were. Both The Dark Knight Blu-Ray and the complete Angel boxed set must've been stolen, either from someone who lives in this building or from one of their visitors. This blows majorly.

I knew the Batman disc was missing on Wednesday and called Amazon to report it, but didn't realize Angel had been swiped at the same time until I checked the tracker last night. That's particularly groan-worthy, since it normally sells for $100 and I bought it on a 24-hour sale for $50.

I just got off the phone with Amazon's customer service. They're going to send replacements. I'll be contacting the police about it this afternoon, and the Amazon rep asked me to forward a copy of the police report to them.

With all the packages I've ordered from Amazon over the past few months, this was a surprise. Usually they're attached by rubber bands to my mailbox, but I bet these were either stacked outside my door or on the big ashtray thing by the mailboxes. Easy targets for some light-fingered asshole.

I hate people sometimes.

Later...

On the other hand, there's an upside to this. The cop they sent to take down my information was very good looking. As proof that young people are taking over, he really liked the Cthulhu statue on my fridge. He didn't know who it was, but he thought it was awesome. Indeed.

The upshot of the visit is that, without suspects, he'll likely be writing a report saying there are no suspects. I figured as much. I never really expected them to find the DVDs, but I believe in documenting stuff. If it happens again, at least there's a report in a cabinet somewhere saying it happened.

Fuck.

I

Batman: Arkham Asylum teaser trailer.

don't know if the game will be any good, but I certainly can't argue with the pedigree. JoyStiq reports that Batman: Arkham Asylum will have voice acting by Kevin Conroy as Batman and Mark Hamill as The Joker. Those two are the heavy hitters from Batman the Animated Series and the DC Animated Universe. I wasn't really on the fence about this title and planned to buy it unless the reviews were 100% Superman 64 bad, but this really makes me feel good about it. I can't wait to learn more.

Recent Stats...
Reading: Watchmen, by Alan Moore; V: The Second Generation, by Kenneth Johnson
Listening: The Lazlow Show (podcast)
Watching: Spaced; Reno 911
Playing: Animal Crossing; Fallout 3

The town's name is Tonberry, so I made a Tonberry flag.
Animal Crossing: City Folk for the Wii is surprising me a bit. I played the Gamecube game on a daily basis for well over a year, I think. Then I moved on from it and got sucked back in for Animal Crossing: Wide World on the Nintendo DS. It wasn't able to keep my attention as long, but it had solid improvements despite the lack of emulated NES titles.

I'm amused by City Folk because that low-grade addiction is there again. It's not a huge improvement over the DS, but the basics are still fun. I like it because it's the sort of game where you can get into a daily routine of ten- or 15-minute play sessions or stretch it out to an hour or two if you're busy.

It's

Fishing is a regular activity.

the most action my Wii has seen in months.

I usually turn it on when I get home from work. I run to Tom Nook's store to see if he has any cool new items for sale, then run to the clothing shop and inspect their wares. I make a circuit of the town to look for new fossils, bugs or fish to donate to the museum. That doesn't take very long, and I can safely quit until the next day if I want.

With WiiConnect 24 and the swapping of Friend Codes, I've been able to visit fellow Final Fantasy XI players' DeviFoxx and Gattsu's towns to obtain new fruits to plant in my town, Tonberry. The new WiiSpeak microphone does a great job of allowing voice chat between players while they run around and explore.

I'm also writing plenty of letters to the animals. In light of the strong possibility they could migrate to a system played by children, I'm not being as sick and filthy-minded as I was in the Gamecube version. I'm relying on innuendo instead of simply calling Maple a cum-guzzling cock goblin in a letter. It's quite an adjustment to my play style.

It's your basic life simulator, heavily embracing the consumer lifestyle. You move into town, buy a house, and pay off your mortgage. You shop a lot, trying to get great furniture to match your personality and earn acclaim.

The big addition to the game is the actual city, where you go for more shops and to learn special moves. Gracie's shop contains a furniture set so lavishly expensive that I can't imagine the time and effort you'd have to put in to buy the entire thing. The carpet alone cost more than my entire house.

Here

Game developers' walkthrough for the Super-Duper Mart in Fallout 3.

we go again. I'm about to start my third character in Fallout 3. The same thing happened with The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, where I wasn't completely sure what kind of character I wanted to make or what stats I'd need. I think it was my fourth try before I settled in and started the game in earnest, using that character for well over 100 hours.

I rolled a new Fallout guy Saturday morning because I hadn't touched the game for about a month and it seemed like a good thing. After playing a few hours -- I've been focusing on Moira's quests for her Wasteland Survival Guide -- and getting a better idea of what will be required, I think I can get it right.

The game is phenomenal. I've only explored a fraction of post-apocalyptic Washington, D.C., but I'm amazed at the detail.

The saddest (and, so far, most geek-worthy) moment for me was discovering the abandoned house near Georgetown with the household robot. When activated and ordered to read a bedtime story to the children, it glides up to the charred skeletons lying on the bunk beds and recites the poem "There Will Come Soft Rains," referenced in the Ray Bradbury story of the same name. That gave me shivers.

During Oblivion, I amassed a large collection of skulls. Every dungeon I entered, I'd search for and pocket any skull I found to place in my house in Skingrad. For Fallout 3, I'm collecting toilet plungers. I initially considered coffee mugs, but they're all over the place and not so much fun. Plus I like the phallic imagery.

One of my daily duties is assembling the entertainment page for the newspaper, and I run the weekend box office results on Monday. A recurring bit of wisdom is that horror movies have a built-in audience who doesn't care about negative reviews. I think the same could also apply to fans of The Punisher.

It's clocking in a dismal 17% rating at Rotten Tomatoes, and it's not difficult to understand why. It's extremely dark, graphically violent and nihilistic, which probably doesn't sell well at Christmas. It's also the third trip to the creative well for this character.

I liked it a lot. I liked it even more than the Thomas Jane version, which was a bit more mainstream.

As a fan of the Garth Ennis run on the comic, this is exactly the sort of Punisher story I wanted to see. Offbeat Mafia types? Check. Crude and inhumane humor? Check. Implied cannibalism? Check. Punisher wading in and slaughtering everything that moves? Check check check. It lacks his spark, but it succeeds as an imitation of his work.

This is not a movie for the squeamish. I can only imagine what the eventual unrated DVD release must be like. Without spoiling too much, there's a moment when an unfortunate gentleman pops like a water balloon, and I burst out laughing in the theater. I was not the only one. This is the sort of thing that makes Roger Ebert weep for the future of humanity.

It's definitely not for everyone -- I can just Jason Vorhees, Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers sitting around and admiring Frank Castle's body count, even if they're lamenting the lack of sexually-active teens -- but I hope it makes enough profit to prompt a few actual sequels.

I listen to Major Nelson's podcast from Xbox Live, and he's always talking about posting on Twitter. I'd never bothered to check it out, but my friend Dixie sent an e-mailed invitation about it, so I signed up. It's like a micro-blog, with 140-character updates.

You can follow my smaller oh-so-exciting exploits at my Twitter page (I used my online persona Halifirien for the name) or through the app on the sidebar. I set it to post the last five entries.

During my week of vacation at Mom and Dad's house, I spent a decent amount of time playing through Left 4 Dead on the Xbox 360. I couldn't play it online, so it was me and three computer-controlled survivors against the zombie hordes. I cleared the four campaigns on the normal setting, trying to learn the layout so I could go online and not humiliate myself.

My

The Normal-difficulty level shown in this 4-minute clip from Left 4 Dead took us 30-40 minutes on Expert.

online friend Brian (AKA "Feriz" from his time in Final Fantasy XI), his brother and their friend invited me to join them for a run at an Expert-level campaign.

It's a very different experience. I chose to play as Zoey, since I figure someone has to be the girl so it may as well be my Buffy the Vampire Slayer-loving ass.

First, friendly fire is especially deadly on expert. You can't turn it off, so checking your targets becomes doubly important. I've basically been twitch-firing at everything that moves, which meant I managed to incapacitate (or outright kill) members of my team a few times. I wasn't the only one doing it, but I think I managed to do it more often.

Secondly, the zombies hit harder. A lot harder. There's a great line in the opening cinematic where Louis says "I can't believe we made it!" and that old codger Bill says "Son, we just made it across the street." Just getting from one safehouse to the next feels like that level of achievement.

I laughed as we were heading for the first safehouse and someone asked "Do we want to set off the car alarm? Or should we avoid it?"

We all said "Avoid it." Most of us were halfway dead at the time, so there's no way we wanted to do something guaranteed to bring down a tidal wave of undead.

Third, the game threw a lot of tank zombies at us. It seemed like we couldn't get to the gas pumps near the lift in "No Mercy" without a tank attack. It was crazy. There were more smoker and hunter zombies, as well. Amazingly, we didn't encounter many witches and only got attacked once.

We didn't beat the campaign, though. Brian's friend had to quit about midway through the third level, so the rest of us contented ourselves with shooting each other or blowing each other up in the safehouse a few dozen times. A boomer spit his zombie-attracting bile through the safehouse door and splattered Brian, so of course I ran over and tried to open the door to let the horde in to devour him.

If George Romero's zombie epics have taught us anything, it's that zombies aren't the real menace. The living are far more dangerous.

This

"It's a Good Life" excerpt from The Twilight Zone.

is why I love the Internet. I found Jerome Bixby's short story "It's a Good Life," the basis of my all-time favorite episode of The Twilight Zone, printed online. It's actually creepier than the Twilight Zone episode (YouTube). It was remade for Twilight Zone: The Movie and was probably one of the better segments.

I'm eventually going to break down and buy the complete series on DVD. It's $150, but there are way too many other things I'd get first.

With all the insane Christmas deals they're having lately, it's probably great that I'm more focused on buying gifts for other people or I'd be broke by now. Still, I couldn't resist snatching up a few things, like the third season of Supernatural for $15, the Wii version of Resident Evil 4 for $10, and the third and fourth seasons of Reno 911.

Recent Stats...
Reading: The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Listening: Just After Sunset, by Stephen King
Watching: Run, Fatboy, Run; The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
Playing: Left 4 Dead; Fallout 3